Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Book Review: Why My Third Husband Will Be A Dog

Book cover--Why My Third Husband Will Be A Dog Right before the lock-down I took a load of books over to my mom (since it is hard for her to get her own these days) and she wanted me to read one from the previous selections.  Not a simple, hey, I liked this one and you should read it someday, but a YOU'VE GOT TO READ THIS BOOK IF YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE kind of recommendation.  So of course I had to read the book.  Mom said to.

It was Why My Third Husband Will Be A Dog by Lisa Scottoline.  I know Lisa Scottoline is a popular author, but I'd never gotten around to reading any of her books.  And I thought they were detective type books.  But this was a humor book.

 Apparently she had worked for a paper once upon a time and wrote a column called Chick Wit, sort of a humor commentary about her view on things, much like Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry -styles of writing.  She decided to take those articles and rewrite them into a humor book.  This one came out in 2009 and she's since written a whole line of this type of book.  You can find at least 5 of her books in this (The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman) series on our OverDrive (though this title is presently just in print at LVPL--shelved in nonfiction/humor at 814 SCO).


Family & pet photos from Lisa Scottoline's book
 She writes about random things that strike her, about her writing, her zoo of pets, her mom, her daughter, her brother and other folks, along with various intimate occurrences in her life.

She speaks of things she has learned, things she needs to do, her personal opinions on things, just...lots of things!

But it's a hoot.

Here's her list of tips on Family Fun, as when family members visit, for example (fleshed out in the book):
1.  You can't chloroform your mother.
2.  Watching eggs cook makes them cook faster.
3.  Too many cooks spoil the tomato sauce.
4.  Getting four people into a car to drive to a restaurant takes as long as a full-scale expedition to Nepal, including sherpas.
5.  Family math is different from normal math.
6.  In a related tip, two extra people will produce 481 extra bags of garbage.
7.  Crossword puzzles are crack cocaine for mothers.
8.  There is an inverse relationship between dieting and eating.
9.  Rain is your enemy.
10.  In between the family fighting, there will be brief periods of harmony and even love, however unexpected.

So you might like the book if you enjoy insights on family.

more pet pictures from Lisa Scottoline's book
She devotes a lot of the book to her pets, as well--many dogs, a couple of cats, a pony, and assorted other critters over time.

Here's a blurb describing some of her dogs:
"My pets are like that Sesame Street song, One of These Things Is Not Like the Others. Here is what the goldens are like: fun, easy, friendly, happy, and loving, on a continuous loop.  You could have three goldens in the room and not know it.  They love to sleep.  They love everything.  Honestly, I kept adding goldens because I forgot they were there.  You could be sitting in a roomful of goldens and think to yourself, You know, we need a dog.
         "The corgi is Not Like the Others.  Here is what the corgi is like:  sensitive, alert, watchful, picky, and feisty.  If she's in the room, you know it.  In fact, you're probably obeying her.  Corgis are low to the ground, dwarf dogs bred to herd cattle, and Ruby has been known to herd the goldens, me, my daughter, and also, on occasion, the UPS guy.  How Ruby knows what she was bred to do, way back in Wales three thousand years ago, is beyond me.  I got her at Christmas, after daughter Francesca had gone off to college.  Ruby was intended to replace Francesca, which is not working out exactly as planned.  How many parents can say that their dog is on drugs but their kid isn't?"


So if you like animal stories you might like this book, too.

In general it's a female-feel good-humor kind of thing.  Lisa is also keen on reading groups and
similar stuff and offers many ways to connect.  It's a very quick read, made up of little 3-page chapters.  I'm an incredibly slow reader and it took me about 9-10 hours, so a normal reader could eat it up in about 3 or 4!  A great literary bowl of snacks.

The next book (and on OverDrive) is My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space:  The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman.

Check out her books and other offerings at https://www.scottoline.com/books/ !

Yeah, I liked it.--Sherry at LVPL

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